Picking Up The Pieces
by FallingStarsAndPaperFlowers
Summary: Just a little one shot that demanded to be written. A few weeks after the battle with Loki, Tony is broken and trying to pick up the pieces. Steve is oblivious, and says some hurtful things to Tony. He finds out about what Howard was really like, and he apologizes. Contains some angst and ScienceBros feels, could be seen as pre-slash. The story is better than the summary.


**Just a little one-shot that my mind demanded I write. Kind of angsty, but I think it's pretty good. This takes place a few weeks after the first movie. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing, yada, yada, yada.**

* * *

Tony Stark was not as selfish as people believed him to be.

Not many people could see it, he hid it well. He hid it behind a mask of alcohol and narcissism. It was easier to conform to the views of the public, than to try to change it.

Another thing people never saw was how broken he was.

He hid his pain behind his smiles and his sarcasm, allowed his sass and wit to cover up the worst of him. Inside though, he was shattered. His mind, his heart, was in pieces.

The first person to notice, was Natasha Romanov. She was observant, she noticed things. She saw the signs, the self destructive tendencies. She saw through his mask.

The second person to see how broken he was, was Bruce Banner. He saw it instantly. When he first met Tony Stark, they connected. They clicked. They understood each other, they knew how the other thought. Their friendship was formed quickly, and Bruce saw through his fake smile even faster.

The third person was Clint. He, like Natasha, observed, but it took him a while to understand what he was seeing. He never expected Tony Stark to be like that, like _him,_ but once he realized it, he realized just how obvious it was.

The fourth to notice, was Thor. He was actually quite smart and observant, contrary to what most people thought. He had watched his brother fall to his demons, watched as he slowly broke, and although he hadn't noticed the signs then, he knew how to recognize them now. And recognize them he did. He saw Stark's fake smile, saw the pain he hid so well.

The last person, to finally realize what Tony Stark was truly like, was Steve Rogers. Every time he looked at the man, all he could see was Howard, and everything he had lost. It hurt, to look at Tony, and he didn't want to admit it. To do so, he was cruel to the man, and didn't notice how much he hurt him with his comments.

Steve only noticed just how shattered Tony was three weeks after the invasion. They were all staying at Stark, now Avengers, Tower, and were eating Chinese food and watching a movie in the lounge room.

Like always, Tony was being his snarky self, and it was quickly getting on Steve's nerves. Howard would never act like Tony did.

And Steve told him that.

"Why are you like that Stark?"

Tony went silent, and looked at him confused. "What do you mean, Spangles?"

Steve frowned, staring at the drink in his hand. "I mean, why do you act like _that._ You're disrespectful to everyone around you, you think you're better than everyone else. And you're not. You're not anywhere near as good as anyone in this room. All you ever do is brag about your accomplishments and drink. You're such a selfish, bratty little rich boy. You know that right? Howard never acted like that."

"Steve." Bruce snapped, trying to get the man to shut up.

Steve looked at Bruce for a second, before continuing to harangue Tony. "I don't know why Fury ever considered you for this team, hell I don't know why he made you a consultant. You're irresponsible, insubordinate, and can't take no for an answer. Everything you do is for yourself, you're just the center of your own little world. Howard was so much better than that. He was selfless, everything he did was for the greater good. He spent his life trying to help people. Howard was a great man, how he managed to raise such a disrespectful kid is beyond me."

When he finished his rant, Steve finally took in what was around him. Bruce and Natasha were glaring daggers at him, Clint and Thor looking anywhere but where he and Tony stood. And Tony... for one second Steve finally saw what was behind the mask. He saw the pain, saw the hurt in his eyes. Then, just like that, it was gone, and Tony was back to his usual cocky self.

"Wow Cap'. That was sure a speech, and one I've heard quite a bit. Tell you what, I'll have you tell me all that again when I actually _care._ "

With that, Tony turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Steve to gape at his turned back. Bruce, managing to look angry _and_ disappointed, shook his head. "You really need to learn how to see what is happening around you Steve."

Bruce turned and walked away, leaving Steve to the rest of the team. "W-what happened?"

Natasha, still glaring, took a step forward. "You weren't seeing what was happening Steve. Didn't you see how Stark was reacting to you're little spiel? You hurt him enough by calling him disrespectful and selfish, but you went and brought his father into it."

Steve furrowed his brow. "What does that have to do with anything. The Howard I knew-"

" _The Howard you knew._ Steve the Howard you knew was nothing like the Howard Tony knew. After you crashed into the ice, Howard became _obsessed_ with trying to find you. Howard thought of Tony as a nuisance. He had never wanted him, he'd wanted _you._ Tony's father was a cruel, cold-hearted bastard. He never payed attention to his son, he was trying to find you. Tony was never good enough in the eyes of his father, because his father had created _you._ He wanted that again, not the smart little kid he got."

Steve was silent, staring at the floor.

"I didn't know..."

Natasha's face softened. "We know, but now you do. When Tony comes back out, apologize to him. And _don't_ bring up his father."

Steve nodded, and shuffled to his room, ashamed that he had caused his friend such grief. Tony had told him before what Howard was like towards him, but he'd always thought it was the spoiled little rich boy in him whining about nothing.

He slipped into bed and tried to sleep, but the guilt was eating at his mind.

He had to fix this. He had to make things right.

* * *

As Steve was talking, pointing out all of his flaws, everything he hated about himself, Tony could feel the dark thoughts slipping in. Memories of his father, shouting obscenities at him. It was too much, and he retracted into himself, praying that Steve would finish soon.

When Steve finally quieted, Tony managed to pull on his mask for a few moments. He'd spat out a snarky remark, and walked away.

As soon as he was out of sight, he sprinted to the nearest bathroom and vomited. The memories of his past pounded in his brain, and soon they turned into those of the void. His chest heaved, he couldn't get enough air in. Tony's eyes widened. He needed to breathe, but he just _couldn't._

It was so hard to hear that from Steve.

He'd grown up, constantly compared to Captain America, and now that role model was saying the ex _act_ same things his father used to. It was too much.

Leaning his head against the wall, groaning as his head pounded, he finally registered that Bruce had come in and was standing in front of him.

He smiled at him, face full of fake energy and snark. "Heya Bruce."

Bruce sighed, running a hand through his already messy hair. "Drop the act Tony, I know how you're really feeling. You're safe with me."

Tony's smile dropped instantly, his eyes dimming, and he dropped his head in his hands. He'd managed to get his breathing under control, but his chest still hurt like a bitch. "Fuck Bruce. What did I do?"

Tony looked up at the physicist, eyes desperate for an answer. Bruce sat down beside him, throwing an arm over his shoulder.

"I don't know Tony. Steve just doesn't understand you yet."

Tony shook his head. "He hates me, I know it."

Tony stared at his hands, seeing all the blood shed he had caused with his weapons.

"He's right though. He's absolutely right."

Bruce sucked in a breath. "No Tony, he's not. He's so, _so_ wrong. You are the smartest, bravest, most _selfless_ man I've ever met. And if Steve doesn't see that, he needs to get his head out of his ass."

Tony shook his head, but didn't say anything. "What do I do, Bruce?" Tony looked up at him, looking so lost. Bruce's heart broke a little, looking at him and seeing just _how_ broken and tired he was.

"Give him a while, I'm sure Natasha's berating him for saying those things. Let yourself calm down a bit, and then go and explain to him. He can't change if you don't give him what he needs to."

Tony nodded slightly, sucking in a shuddering breath, and leaned his head against Bruce's shoulder. Bruce felt his friend's silent sobs, and pulled him closer.

Tony allowed himself to curl into Bruce's warmth, seeking comfort just that one time.

"It hurts so much."

Bruce squeezed his arm, and buried his face into his friends hair.

"I know Tony. I know."

* * *

It took two days for Tony to finally feel ready to face Steve. Bruce stayed with him as much as he could, helping him in the lab and making sure he didn't fall to his self destructive habits.

Tony emerged from his workshop hesitantly. He didn't want to leave - it was safe and warm and comfortable. He knew it so well, and he was about to enter unknown waters. There was no way of knowing what was going to happen next.

"JARVIS, where's Steve?"

 _"Captain Rogers is currently in his training room on floor 43, would you like me to notify him of your visit?"_

Tony shook his head. "No, it's fine. Thank J."

 _"Of course, sir."_

Tony walked to the elevator, and the ride up was stiflingly slow. He felt like the walls were getting closer to him, and it took all his focus just to breath.

The elevator opened on floor 43, and he walked through the hall to the training room.

Taking a shaky breath, Tony walked through the door silently, and stood for a moment just watching Steve pummeling the punching bags.

Tony was scared as to what that might mean.

He cleared his throat, and Steve whipped around, his face becoming slightly pinched at noticing who was there.

"Ah, Tony. I was, uh, waiting for a chance to talk to you."

Tony nodded, and leaned against the wall. "Well, I'm here now. Let's talk."

Tony watched as Steve walked closer, and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry." he blurted out

Tony stood silently, staring at the man in front of him. He'd expected many things to come out of his mouth but not an apology.

"O-oh." he replied

"Oh?"

Tony shuffled a bit, looking down. "I, uh, wasn't expecting that."

Steve's eyes softened a bit, and his face filled with pain.

"Jesus Stark. How could you expect anything different?"

Tony shrugged, still looking at his feet, and Steve sighed. He couldn't blow up, he needed to stay calm.

"Tasha told me, about Howard. I-I didn't know-"

Tony held up a hand. "I know Spangles. It's fine, I understand. I remind you of him, and therefore I make you remember everything you've lost. I know it's difficult for you. I just..."

He trailed off, and Steve sighed again. "I shouldn't treat you like that just because of some bad memories. I shouldn't try to hurt you just because I'm in a bad mood. You don't deserve that."

Tony shrugged. "I'm used to it. It's fine."

Steve froze for a second, and anger filled him at hearing Tony talk so casually about something like that. "No, Tony, it's _not_ fine. You should never have had to go through something like that, and I wasn't helping at all!."

Tony stared at him again. "Why are you saying these things now? What changed your mind about me?"

Steve shrugged. "I guess, just... two nights ago I finally realized how wrong I was about you. Y-you're not like that at all. You're not selfish or disrespectful, I was just too blind to see it before."

Tony smiled. "Thanks Cap. Shall we call this a truce?"

Steve nodded, grateful that Tony had forgiven him. "Lets."

They shook hands, and eventually Steve's curiosity got the best of him.

"Tony, if you, um, if you don't mind me asking. What exactly did your father do to you?"

Tony's eyes darkened, and Steve immediately regretted asking the question.

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

Tony shook his head. "No it's fine. You deserve to know."

He sighed, and slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. He patted the space beside him, inviting Steve to sit.

"I guess I'll have to start with that fact that Howard never actually wanted a son. I was born, and I was just an inconvenience. A distraction to his mission.

"He would do his best to ignore me, only acknowledging the existence of his son when he was in one of his drunken hazes. He'd tell stories of the great Captain America. You were my role model, you know."

Steve nodded, feeling a twinge in his heart at that.

"Anyways, for years the only time he ever talked to me was when he was drunk, and then my mother almost died in a car accident. She managed to live, but my father hated me for it. She was on her way to one of my school award ceremonies.

"I came home, and he was already drunk. He shouted things at me. That it was my fault, I'm a waste of space, I'll never be good enough, etc. etc. That continued for the rest of my life, until he and my mother died in a crash. It never got any worse than that, but it still hurt, you know? I just wanted to be good enough to him."

Steve felt like crying. Howard was nothing like that when he knew him, but he refrained from telling Tony that. He knew that telling him about what he could've had wouldn't help him at all.

He put a hand on Tony's shoulder, and squeezed. "I'm sorry. I had no idea."

Tony smiled a bit, but it was filled with melancholy. "It's all good, Cap. You know now. You listened, and you changed. That's all that matters."

Steve nodded, and watched Tony walk out of the room.

He had a new found respect for the man. As Tony was speaking, he heard the words he couldn't say. 'I still believe everything he ever said sometimes.'

Steve knew now, that Tony wasn't what he seemed. He wore a mask, and hid his thoughts and emotions, because he was scared of rejection, of not being good enough.

Steve knew that feeling all too well.

* * *

Tony walked out of the training room, and sighed. He hadn't expected it to be so hard.

He exited the elevator on his floor to see Bruce waiting for him.

"How'd it go?" he asked, walking over to him.

Tony shrugged. "Better than I thought it would. He apologized, and asked me about Howard. So I told him."

Bruce smiled, and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm proud of you Tony. I know that wasn't an easy thing for you to do."

Tony shrugged, but inside he was glowing. Bruce was proud of him...

His smile fell as he remembered how tired he was though. He sighed, running his hand across his face and through his hair.

"What do I do now Bruce? I don't feel any better."

Bruce shook his head, and pulled him into a tight hug.

"I'm not sure Tony. You've been shattered so many times, and that was just the first of the pieces to pick up."

He felt Tony nod against him, felt him take a shuddering breath. "W-will you stay with me? Will you help me?"

Bruce nodded, squeezing him even tighter.

"I will."

* * *

 **Well, there ya go. How'd I do? I was thinking of maybe writing a sequel to this with some more science bros feels, maybe developing into science boyfriends. I'm not sure though. What do you think? Let me know!**

 **All constructive criticism is welcome, feel free to be as honest as you'd like.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


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